Is it real? Did it happen? Am I still thin?

I ask myself these questions every morning. Losing the weight was a journey that took up a year and a half of my life. I had to buy new clothes almost every six months to have clothes that didn’t hang on me. As I got smaller and smaller, I noticed a change in my looks and style. I was able to start to wear clothes out of the stores around me. I didn’t have to go to catalogs or online and buy clothes to fit the larger body. I had grown in weight where I was wearing 26W in pants and 5X in tops. As the weight fell off, I had a hard time adjusting to the smaller clothes and the new life. I had so much energy now and so much more range of motion.

As I worked out and struggled to tone up the excess skin and the fat, I wondered if I ever would get rid of it all. I pushed myself harder and harder to tone the belly. The belly never seemed to get much smaller. Then it got to the point that the excess skin bounced and pulled when I moved. This really hurt my side and pulled it to cause severe pain. This made it so much harder to work out. I started to work out and do what didn’t cause pain.

Still the thought of that stomach not getting smaller bothered me. I had lost so much weight and yet the stomach never went down. Yes, I did go down in jean sizes and top sizes, but the excess skin was there. When I laid down in bed, I could pull the skin up. This bothered me more, at how I had let myself get to this point. Why did I gain so much weight? Emotionally I fought back and forth if I wanted to do something about it.

When I went in for a bariatric checkup, I asked about the surgery to reduce the skin on my stomach. I was told this was a hindrance surgery. I was sent down to the plastic surgeon. He told me that when I came out of the surgery, I would be a lot smaller. I thought to myself, “yeah right.” I started to dream about being smaller but wouldn’t let myself dream of being thin.

Surgery was scheduled and the day arrived. So many of my family members was against this surgery, but to me this surgery was needed. I wanted to run with my grandkids or work out and not have pain. I made excuses with my grandkids on why I couldn’t run. So, the day arrived, and I went in and had surgery to remove the excess skin on my stomach.

When I woke up from the surgery, I immediately looked down at my stomach. It was gone. I had a very flat stomach all the way down from the bust. I couldn’t believe it was gone. This was the most change in my life. I still to this day can’t believe it is gone.

Every morning I get up, and I feel my stomach. Is it still gone? Is it still flat? Was it a dream? I look down to make sure it is still flat. Then I step on the scales to see if I had gained weight. When the needle stops moving, and it shows that I haven’t gained any weight, my heart stops pounding fast.

When I went in for my final check-up for surgery, I told the doctor he did a wonderful job and made me beautiful. What he told me next shocked me to the core. “I didn’t make you beautiful. I just refined what you had done. I couldn’t have done this much, if you hadn’t trimmed down and toned so much.” I was speechless. All the excess work had paid off.

I still get up every morning and look down to see if it is still gone, and I still crawl on the scales to make sure I haven’t gained any weight. But now I know that it is real, and I had done it all myself. I bought the first pair of pants in 30 years. I bought 12 slim. This made me proud of what I had done.

As I continue my weight loss journey, I may not lose anymore weight. This will not stop me from still working out and toning. It will also not stop me from still losing more weight if possible. I still have lose skin hanging on my arms and my legs show lose skin, but to me, I am beautiful. All the hard work had paid off.

So, on your journey, keep working out and keep toning. Never give up on your journey. I never gave mine and the results were beautiful. May God bless you on your journey as you continue. May your dreams come true like mine. Thank you for following my journey of weight loss.

#weightlossjourney