Thin and Beautiful

I went in and had a panniculectomy December 17th. They removed 7.5 pounds of skin and fat. A lot of people thought this was not needed. I had a lot of people against me. But with 140 pounds lost, the excess weight caused problems. When I tried to run with my grandchildren, or work out in the pool, the excess weight would flop up and down. In the pool this was really noticeable. This would cause sharp pain in my sides and prevent me from doing anything more.

Dr. Smith told me when I was ready to let her know. Dr. Smith told me this is a hindrance. This is covered by insurance to have it removed. This meant another surgery, but it would help improve my quality of life. On August 1st when I had a meeting with her, I told her I was ready.

She referred me to a plastic surgeon. Dr. Lawrence saw me in October. He said we can get you scheduled before the end of the year. My surgery was scheduled.

I never had any doubt to having this surgery done. To me it was the last step completing the weight loss. As hard as I worked, I could never get the stomach any smaller. The skin was stretched to much between having two babies and carrying all of the weight later in life.

I asked myself when I entered the surgical room, "Am I stupid for doing this?" My comment to myself was, "NO!" I want to run with my grandchildren. I want to keep working out in the pool. I love this the most. I want to stay thin and healthy. I want to have a life where I can do anything I want to.

I had problems seeing the beautiful me. When I looked in the mirror, I still saw that fat woman. Regardless of how much weight I lost, I was still fat. The stomach was what I saw. It would stretch if you pulled it. It would bounce like a bowl of jello. I was not happy that after all the weight loss, I still was fat. Then with it causing so much problems working out, I got depressed. Was this the last part? Was I doomed to see me with a flabby stomach?

Dr. Lawrence told me the day of the visit that he would make me a lot smaller. I left the office saying to myself, "Yeah I know, he will make it smaller. Right." I had my doubts. How could he make it smaller? I just decided to wait until after surgery to see how small he could make it. I was told I would basically have an upside down T. I shook my head and said ok.

The day of the surgery, a chaplain came in to see me before surgery. After talking we said a prayer and she said I was ready for surgery. She mentioned that I had came a long way to get to this point. Things after that went really fast and to the surgical room I went.

When I woke up, I looked down at my stomach and was shocked. It was totally flat. All of the stretched skin and flabbiness was gone. It was flat. I was shocked. When my husband got to the room he told me that they removed 7.5 pounds of skin and fat. This is the size of a healthy baby. I was shocked that they had removed so much.

The weeks have passed now and I look down at my stomach and still can't believe they removed that much. When I look in the mirror, I see a beautiful me now. A flat stomach, and a thin person. Now you can see the person underneath and not the stretched, flabby skin.

I see the beautiful me. The me that has been underneath all the fat and flab. I am no longer depressed because I can see the beauty now. Not the fat or flab or jello. I see the woman I was suppose to be. Below are the pictures of me at my heaviest, at 140 weight loss, and now.

Believe in yourself, and lose the weight you want to. Bring out the beautiful you. I may not lose much more weight now, but i have lost over 150 pounds since my journey started. So as I continue my journey I will keep you updated.

May God bless you on your journey of weight loss. Believe in yourself that you can accomplish this journey and follow your heart.